So long 2017

2017

A year ago, we kicked off 2017 in NYC after a night at Times Square with some great friends. We spent a lot of time traveling and had some great opportunities to meet some new people and build some pretty fantastic friendships. We went to Carmel for girls' weekend, camping, Barcelona and Madrid, Mexico, Chicago, Hiking at Turkey Run, Cincinnati Reds game, and went to Indy to watch Peyton be inducted into the Ring of Honor and have his jersey retired. Never miss a moment with 18! After 11 years of coaching at NorthWood, we finally won a Sectional Title. This team was a blast and we had a very fun season. Love my girls.

We became more involved in our church at Plymouth Community and connected with a Community Group that we adore. We have a great group who share many of the same passions despite all of our differences. We are truly connected and we are looking forward to seeing where God takes us as a group, and as a church in this next year. 

2017 had so many strengths and blessings. Sometimes those get lost on us throughout our day to day struggles. Taking time to reflect today, I cannot help but be humbled and grateful for the path that God has placed me on and those He has chosen to place before me. Whether through relationships at work, community, or church, I continue to be surrounded by the right people at the right time for the right reasons. I had the opportunity to participate in The Journey this year and while I cannot accurately or appropriately explain this to anyone outside of this group, it has been life altering. I have met some amazing people who helped reignite my passion for the work I do, reminded me that there is a lot of positive things out there happening for youth, and there are a lot of really dedicated people doing tough work.

I'm not going to say 2018 will be a New Year, New Me. That isn't going to happen. I hope to be more health conscious. I hope to work on my physical, emotional, and spiritual health every day. I'm still going to advocate for those who cannot advocate for themselves. We have to keep fighting for others. I'm not going to stand by and watch a bully ruin our country. And, by that I mean, I will not believe that he has the ability to destroy the work we do every day. I will not believe that he has the ability to destroy the love we have for one another. And, I will stand up to it, and anyone that bullies others. As we are called to do.

Wishing you all the best in 2018. Don't let it pass you by. Hold onto those you love. Let go of those who hold you back.

Because Kids DO Count!!!

The past couple days I’ve been at a conference that is hosted by the Indiana Youth Institute. The title of this conference is Because Kids Count and it is attended by Youth workers of all kinds. This year has been an awakening for me to realize how many different kinds of youth work there is out there. I have been humbled to meet so many people who share a passion for working with children. Working for children. Advocating, teaching, learning, coaching, loving, guiding, counseling, listening, and playing.

I heard so many profound statements these past couple of days and it always gives me such great energy to be surrounded by people who have similar gifts, goals for helping kids and families, and the hearts and compassion for others. I have also spent this year participating in a fellowship with other Executive Youth Workers and have found myself continuously humbled by their giving spirits. We have been on three retreats so far, some of us went to Mexico, and we have one last retreat next week to close out this year of personal renewal. The collective knowledge, experience, and overall passion is simply amazing in this group and I could not be more thankful for these lifelong friendships I have been so blessed to establish.

Throughout the work I do, sometimes, it is overwhelmingly heartbreaking and sad. I feel vicarious trauma from the stories I hear, and read, and I am constantly reminded that I have no control over anything in my work. Because the reality is, we have no control over other people. We cannot fix other people. We have a lot of systems that need a tremendous amount of work, and there are some people in the field of mental health and addiction that are quite simply burnt out. There is a lot of paperwork, there is a lot of red tape that creates barriers for getting people the help they need, and there are a lot of dead ends sometimes.

Social work is not a job. It is not a career. It is a calling. It is a blessing. It is a privilege. "Attitude is a switch on the inside and only you can flit it." Dr. Gale Gorke. How we approach a situation from the beginning, what our attitude is, what our vantage point is, is key in how that situation will turn out. This is not always easy. It is always necessary. The way we communicate with ourselves, about ourselves, has an effect on how we portray ourselves to others.

We need to surround ourselves with people who will grow us, encourage and support us, and challenge us. Who is the CEO of your dreams? Your Chief Encouragement Officer. And, who are you the CEO for? Kevin Carroll presented this to us yesterday and I had to pause and think about how fortunate I am to have a host of CEOs. I have always had that. Supportive of my dreams, aspirations, and goals. We can all serve as a CEO for someone else.

"The test of a good person is not what you have to do, it's what you choose to do" - Michael Brandwein.

Collaboration is key

I'm baffled. Everyday I turn on the news and see the violence and hate running rampant throughout this world. What I cannot understand is how we have become so hateful. In a world filled with blessings, love, children and more opportunities Han we deserve, so many people are filled with hate and do not even realize it. It's disguised in politics, religion, and called things like the "greater good", when in reality, it's just hate-filled speech and finger pointing that does nothing to bring us together. The only conclusion to be drawn is that we have no desire to live peacefully. We have no desire to understand or accept one another and work through problems and difficulties. That is unacceptable to me, and should be to everyone.

People talk about America being the greatest nation. How can anyone claim that anymore? How can anyone be proud of a nation that turns its back on its own people, let alone people that want to live here? The two party system does nothing but polarize people and work to tear down each other and in turn the country as a whole. Before I'm accused of wanting terrorists to live in this country, Stop. We already have them. Homegrown domestic terrorists that are killing innocent people everyday and we do nothing to stop it. We are more concerned with whether or not our President will actually use the words "Radical Islamic Terrorism" rather than coming together to develop meaningful and effective solutions to stop what we can. We have Republican leaders who made it their mission to stop him from being re-elected after the first term. Fail. And they stayed in office. How? We have Democrats that refuse to even listen to Republican ideas simply because of their political affiliation. Pure idiocy. 

If anyone tried to do these things in any other job in the country, we would be fired. We would be ineligible for rehire. Yet, Congress is full of windbags and ineffective long-term senators and reps that have done nothing. The government does not work for the people. And it will not. We will change parties again eventually in the White House and that person will spend 4-8 years blaming and trying to undo what was done by the previous party, even the good things. Because that is what their campaigns are run on. 

We cannot claim to be a nation that cares about our people and be unwilling to work for them and protect them. We cannot claim to want the best for our children and continue to cut the education budgets leaving them vulnerable in schools and communities. We cannot continue to teach them for college and standardized tests when that is NOBODY'S reality. I rarely take a test in my job today but I do need interpersonal skills and we are failing greatly at teaching those. We cannot continue to send people to wars and not take care of them when they come home and then wonder why we have so many homeless veterans. 

We spend an obscene amount of money on asinine research and we don't want to look at gun control, mental health, and trauma. I'm sick of people saying guns don't kill people. In part you are correct. Someone has to fire it. Not everyone should have access to them. Children should not have access to them in the home. You don't need assault rifles to take out a deer. You don't need 1600 rounds of ammo. And if you do, we need to talk. Maybe fun free zones are not the best idea. And if we had money to research some of these things, and a government that supported that research, we could maybe make some data driven decisions instead of the NRA lining pockets and leading the charge. Not once have I heard that people want to take guns from law abiding citizens nor have I heard criminals won't still get them. I also haven't seen a bunch of gun toting citizens stand up and take out these mass murderers. I haven't seen the "protection" guaranteed by the gun owners. The Donald Trumps that think everyone should be armed and ready to fight. Where are you? And I haven't seen any evidence that would have saved those 26 kids in an elementary school. Teachers teach. Police protect and serve. We shouldn't all have to be armed to go to work.  

My entire job is about collaborating. Working with people to find solutions. Identifying strengths and needs. It is literally the most common sense practice and when people don't get it, don't do it, my mind is blown. Absolutely blown. We have disagreements, differences of opinion, different values, ideologies, faiths, orientations, races, genders, etc. What we do have is one common goal we are working towards. It isn't a selfish goal. It is for the people we serve. What I fail to understand is why our government is set up so much differently. 

Enough

355 mass shootings in fewer than 340 days.

A mass shooting is defined as the shooting of 4 or more people. That number is astronomical. To think that this is the number of people shot by the use of firearms alone is heart-stopping. Let's not even go to suicide. How many people are we willing to lose? 

Apparently, we have become apathetic as a country to people that are not in our immediate family. Apparently, we are more concerned with the rights of gun owners and the labeling of those with mental illness than we have with impacting actual, meaningful change. Apparently, we are more interested in the name of the movement than the actual movement. Apparently, we would rather remain blind to the fact that WE have and continue to grow these terrorists, both foreign and domestic due to our actions and inaction. 

The pure disgust I have when I hear the liberal vs conservative rhetoric over gun rights, mental health access, and who is responsible for what is real. Responsible gun owners know and want better gun laws. And intelligent people know that guns do not kill people. We cannot allow everyone to have access without more thorough screening. It is a constitutional right to bear arms. I should also have the right to go to work without getting shot. Better yet. I should have the right to turn on the news and not see others being shot at work. 

As we continue, yes we, to see the normalcy with which these happen, we become numb. We moan and complain on Facebook, on Twitter and to our friends. We pray for the victims and their families. Some of us pray for the shooters. And while I believe very strongly in prayer, there is no action. We have done nothing as a country to stop this. And so it grows. We fight like hell to jump in another country's war and let our own country destroy itself. 

As for these terrorists....I have no words. Everyone couldn't wait to see the race of the individuals in San Bernardino. The reporters were actually salivating to get the answer. Was this a terrorist attack?  Keep this in mind, he was born and raised here. In America. As are most of the mass shooters in this country. WE are growing them. WE have a responsibility to them. And for those of you shaking your head no at this point, YOU, are part of the problem. 

I don't have the answers. Will never pretend I do. I can tell you that I will continue to educate myself and others on being trauma informed. I will talk to kids about what they see and hear. Because the news is dangerous. It is constant, and it is everywhere. I want them to understand that what they are hearing may not be true and they should also have some safe places to talk about any questions they have. I encourage you to do something. Something besides pray. We have been praying. And we can and should continue. Our leaders are thinking and praying. Not acting. And yesterday 15 more people were killed in TWO separate shootings. 

When is it enough? I was done years ago. 

Sadness, faith, hope

Yesterday, I found out a good friend of my mom's committed suicide. Nancy was a wonderful person. One that would do anything for anyone. Funny, outgoing, sweet, full of life, loving and beloved. 

Suicide. I hate this word. I hate this word like I hate cancer. The pain it invokes deep inside of my soul is gut wrenching. It makes my stomach turn and my mouth dry. I can't fix it. And I'm a fixer. I can't provide the one thing that we all need to push forward. HOPE. Somewhere, somehow, hope has been lost and we are not giving it back. 

Suicide is taking people from us. It is not a selfish act. It is, in fact, one of the most unselfish. It is someone saying to the rest of the world, "I will not be a burden to anyone else, for any longer". It is not prejudice and does not care about your economic status, your color, your religion, your sexuality, your age, your anything. It. Will. Take. Anyone. 

How do we fight against it? I don't know. Here's how we don't: we don't tell people suffering that they just "need more Jesus". We don't tell people with cancer that. So don't tell someone with depression that. We can't just point to the Bible without being willing to get messy with people and walk through the storm with them. We don't tell kids that "in our day, we just did it this way". Things have changed. People have changed. We need to change our approach. Don't say kids are just disrespectful today. Of course they are. We aren't trying to respect them where they are. 

Suicide isn't just about kids. It's about everyone. It's touching everyone. It isn't just the person that is obviously suffering with depression. It is the outgoing, well-connected person in your community. 

It's exhausting to walk into schools and communities over and over seeing the grief stricken faces of students, faculty and families. It's frustrating to have no answers, no words of comfort, and seemingly no way to stop the madness. How do we help people know they are valuable? How do we help remind them that there is hope in this world? Especially when you turn on the television or social media and you are bombarded with the fear being put into you by all of the evil in this world. 

I hold onto my faith. I believe in God. I recognize that not everyone has that and what we hold onto looks different for each of us. But for me, there is God. There is an unshakeable faith knowing that I have been saved. My sins are forgiven and though I will never ever be perfect, I am loved in the most perfect way. I believe that the same power that rose Jesus from the grave lives in me and I am able, no, responsible to share that love with everyone I meet. I don't expect that everyone has nor understands my story, nor do I understand theirs. It is my privilege to listen. To love them, no matter what. To hear them. To listen for their needs. To point out their strengths, because we all have them. And to keep loving them, no matter what I hear. 

I have an unbelievably strong support system and I'm blessed there. Not everyone has that. But why can't they? Why can't we reach out to everyone and offer support? And be persistent and unconditional in that support? Because they won't accept it? That in itself is unacceptable. People who need the most love and support are those that don't realize it, don't recognize it, and seemingly don't want it. We all NEED it. We all should be responsible for providing it to each other. Without judgment. Without conditions. That's the humane thing to do. That's what will save lives. Show love. Bring about Hope. And that's what we need to survive. 

It's been two days since Peyton Manning was benched due to injury, or horrible play, or whatever. It's been one day since I found out how serious his injury is and how long he could be sidelined. The thought that he doesn't step back on the field has entered my mind, more than once, and my eyes fill with tears.

My dear friend,  and fellow Peyton lover, said it best when she said, " The only thing that sucks more than getting old is watching Peyton get old". So much truth in that. For over 20 years, he has been my quarterback. From Tennessee to Indy to Denver, I have followed his career on and off the field, and been amazed at his football intelligence, his ability to will his team to wins, his commercials, his SNL appearance, his charity and love for kids in all of the communities in which he has lived, and above all else his humility. The leadership and willingness to work harder than others, to do the right thing, to be a constant student. 

I cannot imagine looking forward to a football season that doesn't include Peyton Manning. There has never been a debate for me about the best quarterback in football. For 18 years, he had epitomized what a professional athlete should represent. Without scandal, without controversy, he has led in the most brilliant of ways on and off the field. He has continued to learn the game as it changes, as he changes. Outside of the game, he has touched the hearts and lives of so many people. Handwritten notes to longtime fans, signed jerseys and pictures, money to charities that we probably don't even know about, the Chattanooga heroes fund, the phone calls to the survivors of the Aurora theater shooting, visits back to UT, and his high school, Isidore Newman,  Peyton Manning Children's Hospital in Indianapolis, the Peyback foundation, and countless handshakes and autographs and photo opportunities. He is enmeshed in the communities he has lived and gives back. Always. 

I know football is about championships. He's lost two of those. He hasn't performed well in big games. The analysts and sports nuts will always bring that up. He's the best "regular season quarterback". He has records. He holds a lot of those. As a fan, arguably one of his biggest fans, I have been privileged to watch many of the touchdowns, passing yards, completions and game winning drives in person. I witnessed the best AFC championship comeback against New England live. I remember sitting in my living room watching the 21 point comeback on Monday night against Tampa Bay in the fourth quarter. 

I don't know what's next for Peyton Manning. Whether he steps back on the field this season or not, he will always be my quarterback. He will always be the best quarterback in football to me. He may not have as many rings as other QBs. He does have my respect. As a player, as a person, as a leader. On and off the field. Whatever is next, he will do it the best he can, because that's who he has always been. 

Hoping for the very best for Peyton Williams Manning.